Sunday, December 29, 2019

An Open Letter to Esther

Dear Esther,

I'm so sorry I didn't get to see you before you passed. I wish I had a chance to say good-bye in person. But you always did things on your own time. I will miss you dearly.

I truly enjoyed your friendship all those years on the bus. You were the Grandmother I never had. Matter of fact, you were EVERYONE'S Grandma on the Route 15. Those few minutes I had alone with you from Hearst Castle to Cambria were the highlight of my route. I loved learning about your life and history. You were a tough, strong woman, with a big heart. Growing up during the depression and then going through World War II while some of your friends fought must have been really rough. But like so many other's of your generation, you survived and lived a wonderful life. Raising children and helping make America that Shining City on the Hill.

I hope you'll get a chance to read this. I know you're probably busy catching up with family and friends you haven't seen in ages. I love you and appreciate what you brought to my life these past several years. May peace be with you for eternity.


Early this morning my friend Esther died. She was a regular rider on my bus route for several years. She was born on March 6, 1926. And died today, December 29, 2019. 34,266 days. Quite a life. Calvin Coolidge was president when she was born.

She was a tough old broad. One of my first interactions with her was her scolding me for now waiting for her. She worked hard and played by the rules. She had a long, fulfilling life with a loving family and close friends. Everyone on the bus loved her. She was always so proud of me for my weight loss and healthy life changes. Needless to say, I'll be thinking of her while I train and dedicating my next race to her.

Esther enjoyed the simple things in life. I think many from her generation were like that. She loved hot dogs from Costco as well as the rotisserie chicken. And she loved her dogs, Barney and Max. She always remembered my birthday and gave me a card with money. Just like a Grandma would do. Two Christmas's ago she baked some cookies and put them on a plate for me. Above is the picture.

I'm tremendously sad but also happy that I had the chance to know her. She lived (and died) on her own terms. Esther, you'll be missed.

Monday, December 16, 2019

In Sickness

I'm sick. Legitimately sick. Today will be the fourth straight that I've taken off from work. I'm in the worst health state (overall) that I've been in since January of 2015. I don't know what I'm doing. I keep eating crap. Fast food, convenience food, junk food, sweets, desserts, candy, ice cream (yes, I know some of these overlap). I know what foods are generally "bad" for me. And I keep eating them. I don't have any good reason other than they taste good. Oh, and I'm addicted to them.

I want to change. I REALLY DO. And I know I can. After my surgery I went over three years eating relatively well. I was able to drastically change so many aspects of my health. Heck, I ran a MARATHON. I tried running yesterday and could barely muster a couple of miles. (being sick didn't help, obviously)

Maybe I need OA? Maybe I need to pray? Maybe I need a frontal lobotomy? The solutions are simple. The execution isn't easy though.

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Rock Bottom?

I'm sitting in Los Osos on a work break having just ate my salad, a sandwich from Starbucks and two bakery items. With one more to go. I can honestly say this is the worst I've felt about my health direction since surgery, nearly five years ago. This feels so much like 20 years ago when I was realizing I was a compulsive gambler. I can't stop eating crap. 

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Resolution Update and Current State of Health

So... I was checking out my 2019 Resolutions. Here's an update:

1. Clean up my diet - Um... not quite. I've had spurts where I've done well but overall my eating has been worse this year than it's been since 2014. It's mainly the sweets but I've let a lot of processed/snack/junk food sneak in too. Even some fast food on occasion. And with the sweets it's been A LOT of binging. Like more sugar in one night than I used to have in a month type binging. Obviously, this is still a work in progress. 

2. Run Half-Marathon sub-2 - YES! Did this in June. Admittedly, it was a downhill course but still! Clocked in at 1:58:37

3 & 4. Because of weight and diet mainly I won't be able to achieve these. Definitely will be a goal for 2020 though.

5. Run 1,200 miles. I'm right on pace to do this. And every month except October I ran 100+. I'm confident that I'll hit 1,200 by end of year. I already have a goal of 2,020 combined running/biking miles for 2020. With at least 1,200 coming via running.

There you have it. Not quite hitting all my goals but making some. Always room for improvement. I'm hoping to blog a little more in the near future. About everything from my health and fitness. To my views on current health trends, conventional thinking, health myths, etc.


Tonight I lost a friend. His name was Peanut. He was a really sweet cat. His original name was Zero. But when I first met him I thought his ...